DN - Forty, Love Chapter Four

Forty, Love : Chapter Four

A Death Note Fanfic

Disclaimers:  Uh… I dunno.  Been a while since my last update – sorry, to the few people who are reading this.

---

“God, he’s going to kill me…”

Matt paced around the room, pulling at his hair uncertainly.  The look on Mello’s face when he saw Matt leave L’s room… yeah, the blonde was going to maim him.  Not just hurt him – rip him limb from limb for lying to him.

He threw himself down on the bed, groaning and hitting himself with his pillow.  “Gonna die…” he groaned into the fabric, rolling off the edge of the bed and landing with a ‘thud’ on the floor.  “Ow.”

He looked up as he heard the door open.

“What are you doing on the floor?”

Spinning around quickly, Matt managed to painfully spring back into a standing position.  He winced and placed a hand on his back – that was gonna sting in the morning – and gave Near a sort of inquisitive grimace.

“So what if I am?” he asked, gingerly sitting back on his bed.  “What are you doing in here?  Mello’ll flip if he finds you.”

Near shrugged a little nonchalantly, twisting his hair around his index finger.  “He won’t be back for a while.  I know he’s talking to L.”

“Why, he tell you that?”

“No, L did.”  When Matt looked confused, Near elaborated, “L always wants to speak to Mello first, because Mello would have a hissy fit if he didn’t.  He would say that L talking to me first was showing blatant favoritism, so he should just always talk to Mello first to keep things straight.”

“…that doesn’t make any sense,” Matt said, trying not to laugh.

Near smiled just a little, nodding.  “I know it doesn’t.  But Mello rarely makes much sense.”

“Very true.  Anyway, you didn’t answer.  What are you doing in here?”

Near perched on the edge of Mello’s bed, one hand still entwined in his hair.  “I was just wondering what L wanted to talk to you about,” he said with a shrug.  “Don’t look at me like that – I know L wanted you to be one of his successors.  For crying out loud, Matt, the three of us make up the smartest of Wammy’s.  I know you can’t possibly be unaware of this – honestly, I would have been shocked had L not offered you the chance.”

Matt sighed, rubbing his forehead.  Yeah, even if Mello hadn’t realized this, he shouldn’t have doubted that Near would.

“He did… but I couldn’t take his offer,” he said quietly, twisting his neck to crack it.

Near watched him closely.  “You didn’t want Mello to treat you like he did me, is that right?”

It hadn’t been an accusation – it was just one of Near’s straightforward questions.  “I…” Matt started, but then thought better of it.  Near was smart enough to have figured it out a long time ago, perhaps even when it had started.  “…yeah,” he finally admitted a little sheepishly, looking away.  “Look, Near, about that-…”

“Don’t sweat it.”

Matt looked back at Near, surprised.  “Huh?”

“I know it wasn’t your choice.  I mean, yeah, it hurt, but Mello was always closer to you than I was.  You would only have been able to be friends with one of us as far as he was concerned, and I don’t blame you for going with the one you’re… ah… closer to,” the albino finished, looking away as he curled his hair around his index finger again.

Matt flushed when he realized what Near was saying, but didn’t comment.  “Anyway… I am sorry, dude.”

“I said don’t worry about it.”

They sat in silence for a minute before Near got back to his feet.

“Mello’ll be coming back soon.  I’d better get out of here before he decides to… I don’t know; force-feed my Legos to me or something.”

Matt couldn’t suppress a small smile at that.  “That sounds like exactly the kind of thing he’d do.”

“I know.”  Near’s face didn’t change at all, but Matt could detect the amused undertones.

---

“What was he doing in here?”

L gave Mello a mildly surprised look at the sudden accusing tone the blonde was taking.  “Whatever do you mean, Mello-kun?” the detective asked calmly.

“I mean, why was Matt in here?  How come you wanted to talk to Matt before me, huh, L?”

“I don’t see how that’s any concern of yours,” the black haired man shrugged, turning his head to concentrate on the tea he was pouring.  “I merely wanted to speak with him, that’s all.”

Someone started laughing.  It was a laugh of disbelief, a little high-pitched, and extremely annoying.  It wasn’t until he noticed the way L was looking at him that Mello realized the sound was coming from his own mouth – he immediately clamped his mouth shut, his face flushing a bit.

“Mello-kun, this may surprise you, but I do things that you are unaware of, for reasons you won’t discover.  This does not affect the fact that I do care about you, but I have no reason to tell you everything.”

Flushing a bit more, Mello kept his mouth shut, looking down at his lap as his hands slowly clenched into fists.  He just wanted to know why.  Matt didn’t even like L.  At least, he was fairly certain he didn’t like L.  And L didn’t have any reason to give Matt more than a sideways, passing glance.  After all, he, Mello, was the one who would succeed him.

Not Matt.

Never Matt.

“I was just curious,” Mello said, his voice lowered to a barely-intelligible mutter.  His eyes nervously darted from his hands to the door, and then finally settled on L’s knee – a safe enough focal point, he had decided.  “I mean, he is my best friend and everything.  I just… you know… was curious.”

“Jealous, you mean.”

“What?!” Mello exclaimed as he quickly stood, bringing one clenched fist to his chest.  “That’s ridiculous!  Why the hell would I be jealous of Matt?!  That little computerphile has nothing to recommend him – I’m ten times better than him OR Near!”

“I don’t recall mentioning Near-kun.”

Mello blinked, his mouth clamping shut as the color rose on his cheeks again.  However, it was true, as far as he was concerned.  No matter how overly-passionate his exclamations had seemed, it was true.  He was better than Matt.  He was better than Near.  He was better than everyone, except L, obviously.  With a great deal of effort, the blonde forced himself to sit again, his fists clenching on his knees again.

“If you aren’t jealous, you’re doing quite a splendid job of pretending, Mello-kun,” L said with a sigh, raising his cup to his lips and sipping his tea thoughtfully.  “Besides, is it truly such a huge event, me choosing to talk to Matt?  After all, he’s a member of this orphanage too.”

“I know.”

“Would you prefer I neglected him?”

“… no…”

“Then what is there to complain about?”

Mello didn’t answer.  He couldn’t answer, because he couldn’t think of a way to tell L that he didn’t want him talking to anyone else while he was here.  He just wanted L to talk to him.  That’s all.

---

Near slowly ascended the stairs, his head bent as he stared at his feet.  It wasn’t an action he did out of shyness, but more force of habit and bad posture he’d acquired from years of sitting on the floor and playing with his toys.

He instinctively grabbed the banister as he heard hurried footsteps descending towards him.  It proved to have been a good move – less than three seconds later, Mello’s shoulder collided with his own and nearly sent Near careening back down the way he had come.

“Watch it,” Mello snarled, glaring at the white haired boy.

“You,” Near said quietly.  “You’re the one rampaging like a bull in a china shop.  Whatever happened to that dainty composure of yours, Mello?  Did L finally tire of you?”

Mello stared at him, not speaking for a moment. “… fuck you,” he spat before hurrying down the stairs again.  Near didn’t respond, but continued up to L’s room and entered after announcing himself with a brief knock.

“Mello’s in a bad mood,” he said a bit sullenly as he sat down across from L, his hand automatically rising to his hair, beginning to twist it around his index finger in the habit that so many found strangely irritating.

“He’s usually like that.  Aren’t you used to it, Near-kun?” L said with a slight smile.  Near smiled back, but didn’t say anything.  He just took the tea L offered and sat with him in comfortable silence, the way the two usually passed their meetings together.

---

“He hates me!”

L stared down at Near as the boy continued to cry, gently patting the back of his head slowly.  Near tightened his grip on L’s waist, burying his face in the detective’s shirt.

“He hates me and I don’t even know what I did!”

L truly didn’t know what to tell him.  All he could manage was a bit of a sigh as he sat down, pulling Near into his lap.  At least the boy was still small enough for that.

“I don’t think he hates you, but you know Mello-kun is extremely competitive,” he said a bit evasively.  “Just give him some time, maybe he’ll come around.”

“Is it because I took your offer?” Near sobbed, looking at L with watery gray eyes.  “I thought… I thought maybe… we could do it together!  And Matt-kun… he won’t talk to me either!”

“Shh,” L said, his voice taking on a soothing tone as he placed one hand on Near’s head, laying it on his shoulder and rocking the boy a bit.  “Shh… it’s okay, I’ve got you,” he murmured, along with other meaningless but somehow comforting phrases.  He truly didn’t know what he was going to do with these boys.

“Try not to think too much about it,” L said as he pushed Near away a bit to look at him, reaching over and wiping tears off the boy’s face.  “Besides, you make friends very easily.  Why don’t you try talking to some of the other kids closer to your age?”

“Mello-kun and Matt-kun were the only ones who liked me,” Near said, sniffling a bit.  “No one else will talk to me.  How come no one likes me?  Huh?”

L sighed a little and shook his head, pulling Near back to his chest.  “You’re starting to get hysterical.  Please calm down, Near-kun.  And it’s not that no one likes you.  You just never gook the opportunity to get to know anyone else.  This is the perfect time, isn’t it?”

“I… I guess,” Near said as he pulled back, roughly rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands and hiccupping a little.

L smiled a little at the boy and nodded.  “Good, I’m glad you agree.”

“Y-yeah…”

---

“I hate you.”

Matt’s head snapped up as Mello’s voice reached his ears.  Damn, he hadn’t even heard him come in the room.  “Hey, Mello,” he said a little weakly as he stood, facing his friend.  Well, at least, he thought the blonde was still his friend.  You really could never tell with him.

Mello slammed the door shut with enough force to knock the painting on the wall askew, but he didn’t say anything.  He just continued to glare at Matt; a glare normally reserved for Near.  Okay, it was going to be one of those talks.  Clearing his throat a little nervously, Matt put his hands in his pockets and hurriedly glanced around the room.  No knives anywhere in sight.  That was a good thing.  “So… uh… what happened?”

“You lied to me.”

Oh, geez.  Matt sighed a bit and closed his eyes.  “I didn’t lie to you, per se… I… I just wasn’t supposed to tell you that I was going to see L, that’s all,” he said awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and back.  “I mean… I knew you’d act exactly like this if you knew he wanted to see me first, and…”

His words were cut short as Mello’s fist connected with his jaw, sending the gamer back a few steps to smash into the wall.  “You should have refused!” Mello yelled, clenching his fists.  “You have no business talking to him!  And you’re really pissing me off, Matt!  You’re acting just like Near!”

“What the fuck?!” Matt yelled back from his position braced against the wall, one hand clasped to the reddening place on his jaw where Mello’s fist had connected unexpectedly.  “L wanted to talk to me!  I wasn’t going to refuse!  And what do you mean I’m acting like Near?!  How am I acting like Near?!”

“You’re betraying my trust, dammit!” Mello practically screamed as he hit Matt again, backhanding him hard enough to knock his goggles askew.  This time, Matt collided with the dresser hard enough to knock a jewelry box that had been sitting on top of it to the ground.  The lid opened, necklaces and bracelets spilling across the floor in a tangled mess.

Silence prevailed over the room.  Mello stood staring down at his friend, his sides heaving a bit from the force of the sudden anger he had unleashed.  Matt groaned a little as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, blood running down his chin from his lip.  Neither of them said anything.  Then, still wordlessly, Mello turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, once more slamming the door hard enough to jar the paintings in the hallway.

---

Man, he was in so much trouble.  First for fighting in the cafeteria, then for threatening Near, and now for beating Matt up.  Now, while no one had actually witnessed it, it could be heard through pretty much their entire floor, and Mello had received the worst punishment he could possibly think of – all of his chocolate had been confiscated for a week.  He was going to die.

Roger berated him for nearly a solid hour on his behavior and conduct, how if he didn’t shape up he’d be in trouble the rest of his life, blah blah blah, until finally allowing Mello to escape back to his room where he would be stuck for the rest of the night.

Slowly trudging up the stairs, the blonde contemplated different things he could do to attempt to make his peace with Matt.  After all, he knew the fight was his fault, and he always did something for the redhead without outright apologizing.  That wasn’t his style.  Maybe he could steal another kid’s DS game for him or something.  That’d make him feel better.

“Matt?” he asked tentatively as he peeked into the room.  Empty.  Dammit.  Sighing, he shut the door behind him and looked down at the bracelets and necklaces scattered across the floor before grabbing the jewelry box and sitting on the carpet, proceeding to untangle them and place them back.  This took about two solid hours – he hadn’t realized exactly how tangled these things were capable of getting – before he realized that one of his necklaces was missing.  It was a black crucifix on a silver chain that he’d picked up at the medieval fair last year when he’d gone with Matt.  Cursing, he began searching under the dresser and beds for it, wondering where it’d gotten off to.

A knock on the door surprised him enough to make him hit his head on the underside of his bed.  “Ow… what?” he snapped over his shoulder, glaring a bit.

Roger opened the door and looked down at Mello.  “What happened to Matt?”

“He was dropped repeatedly as a baby?  I don’t know,” Mello said darkly as he rubbed his head, standing up.  “Why do you ask?”

“Because someone saw him leave about three hours ago and, apparently, he hasn’t come back.”

---